Someone sent me the link to a post entitled 35 Common Senior Habits That Leave Young People Puzzled on the online magazine, avocadoposts.com– no author or date. I clicked on it. Within seconds, even before the end of the first sentence, I got annoyed and got more annoyed the more I read. Ugh! Here we go again with those nasty, superficial images and words about aging people! In the first paragraph it says, “As we grow older, our habits evolve, sometimes mystifying younger generations…”
The essay went on to list thirty-five “…daily activities that serve as a badge of honor among the elderly…” Ugh – Again! The only time I could find the word we, was in that very first paragraph. All of the “habits” were explained using “they,” “them,” or “older people.” So, one big problem with this commentary was the “we” vs “they” approach. I think of myself (an aging person) as “us/me.” I grudgingly give a smidgin of credit to the author for wanting to explain something about us/me, but I am left with the nagging questions – what did they hope to clarify and why?
Unfortunately, to make their dubious points, the writer relied on cliched statements and images to convey their sketchy ideas. There are literally thousands of photos of seniors – smiling, grey haired, happy-looking – on the internet, but for the first of the thirty-five habits called “Voicemail Virtuosos,” the author chose a picture of a slightly disheveled, sour-faced, yelling, wrinkled woman as a way to illustrate, “…the older generation prefers the personal touch of a voicemail.”
I object strongly to the writer’s suggestion that all mature people are the same. “They” all like to go out to dinner early, wear jackets, take afternoon naps, and check the weather reports every day all day. Actually, we are not all the same and don’t all like the same things. Each of us has our own origin and growing up stories. We have individual experiences and memories from multiple eras and locations. Each has had joys and sorrows through a life-time of living. Yes, as we age, we may face health, financial, and relationship issues. These may be common factors, but the details and how we deal with them vary tremendously.
We are not all cut from one cloth and our lives are comprised of far more than thirty-five habits. Categorizing people by “habits” does a disservice to who we truly are. The reality of our existences makes it impossible and certainly unnecessary to pigeonhole us. We are diverse and interesting, and we don’t have to justify ourselves to anyone.
Where I live, there are many older people and we represent multiple cultures, varied life journeys, and disparate work histories. We were born in the U.S. or somewhere else. We are current and former teachers, nurses, security guards, lawyers, shop owners, business managers, doctors, elected officials, professors, financial advisors, and artists. We are single, married, divorced, widowed. Some of us work at and some are retired from regular jobs. We may or may not have kids or grandkids. We do volunteer work at libraries, belong to book clubs, serve at election-day voting places, and play bridge. We are like the rest of the general population – just older with more knowledge and wisdom, which is clearly lacking in this piece of writing.
Most egregious, Common Senior Habits represents the epitome of ageism. It perpetuates unfounded, false perceptions, and it bolsters stereotypes. Its bogus message makes me cringe. But it does remind me that ageist views are rife and firmly entrenched. What to do? I must keep writing and talking about it, still not knowing if that will contribute to a deeper, more profound appreciation of the rich complexity of ‘us.’
Marian …. as an octogenarian .. I do have some redeeming habits .. maybe not all for publication at this time.
There comes a time when it’s US vs THEM. and .. the time is now .. I thoroughly enjoy my late 80’s .. nearing 90 .. I completely agree with your commentary regarding stereotypic behaviors of certain segments of our population.
June 6th .. tomorrow .. is a day of reflection .. as I walked the beaches of Normandy years ago when able to travel …. where bullets killed and/or maimed from the heights .. there are now Holiday Homes looking down and into the North Atlantic.
I enjoy the years I have experienced … and continue to look forward to the years I have left .. I have someone to love .. something to do … and something to hope for.
What else does one need ?
Daily life is something I cherish .. as total strangers hold heavy doors open for my wheeled walker … as attractive young ladies address me as “sir” .. as cheerful shoppers at Costco unload my groceries into my Honda Odyssey ..
Engaging with people is what life is about .. as you are not an “olde friend” .. you are a friend of “long standing” .. let’s keep the dialogue open & continuous.
Walter, As usual, your comments resonate with me and make me smile. They also help me reflect on the things that are really important in our lives, no matter what age we are. Thanks!
“We are like the rest of the general population – just older with more knowledge and wisdom”. I like this…it is the best description!
Thanks Sandy! I really am very tired of seeing and hearing the same stereotypes of us awesome people!
Right on Marian! Thank you!!
Amen! How are you?
I’m doing fine. Plugging along, continuing to write. Working to keep my brain active!
Many of these stereotypes are true- We age into these stereotypes like baby steps when we learned how to walk. Aging habits differ greatly due to health, finances, interests, abilities, and so many other factors. Respect for “elders” of any age is a nearly lost characteristic among many younger individuals who hopefully will mature and grow with grace and dignity that most of the adults or “elders (over 60) I know. Stereotypes can be cruel. Stereotypes can cause inner pain. Stereotypes can be very true and very funny. Humor and sincere acceptance is paramount. Let’s hope kindness, respect, and understanding of others heights and limitations, sickness and health, generosity, patience and kindness, habits and traditions educate everyone, ALL AGES, who are doing their best with the lives that we are gifted.
You are absolutely right. It would be great if everyone could be respectful of every age. Unfortunately, accepting negative stereotypes can lead to lack of understanding and create barriers to being able to do the best they can with their lives. Thanks!
I think you just proved the point of the article. You can now add the 36th Common Senior Habit – “they have time to read a random website”… Why would you read a random online web magazine, a kind of yellow press, and start arguing with “no author”?
Right on! I tried to figure out how to communicate with this non-existent author – no luck.
As an almost-80-year-old who teaches English to immigrants from dozens of different countries and cultures, I hate stereotypes. Let’s be careful not to stereotype young folks. Not implying that you are…just that we all need to be careful about stereotyping.
– Sharon L
Sharon,
Stereotyping people – of any age or group – is simply wrong. It’s an attempt to be demeaning of people, but it also demeans the speaker of thoughtless hurtful words. The work you are doing is wonderful!
Marian
Stereotypes serve as overslmplified images of any group. So I agree with your abhorence of stereotyping the particular group you write about. I find time I”m spending in my more advanced years to be more thoughtful than time I spent in my youth. So many places to go, so much stuff I had to do, so little time. I have slowed down. I miss being young. I miss dancing. I miss never feeling tired. Now I read endless books. I take slow, leisurely walks and am more in tune with the beauty and wonder of the natural beauty that surrounds me. I do, still, get fired up about the current state of the union, and wish ill on evil wanna be dictators.
On one of my walks, I came upon a miniature tree that was cut down in the prime of its life, probably by mindless “clear the forest” enthusiasts. Nonetheless, despite all odds, the little tree continued its life cycle unencumbered by stereotypical expectations, by producing a full crop of green leaves that turn red in the Fall, drop in the Winter and return in full force come Spring. It is a reminder of the changing seasons, the resilience, and the continual renewal of life. Hardly a sterotype. I call him Steve.