I feel bewildered and uncertain when my small and bigger worlds seem out of control. These are crazy-making times for me. On the small-world level, an auto accident in January left me a bit discombobulated. I was not hurt in this crash and it was clearly not my fault. However, it took more than a month for a myriad of things to resolve, including the fact that my car was totaled and I had to buy a new(ish) one. Although this episode was unsettling, I knew that, at some point, it would be over and I could get back to regular living. That is exactly what has happened. I have returned to stable days-to-days, with a slightly younger car. My adjustments now are that I have to figure out how to use unfamiliar automobile bells and whistles. 

Fortunately, in unfortunate circumstances like my car crash, there were legal, law-enforcement, insurance, medical, and transportation resources in place that were quite reliable. With a relatively few phone calls it was possible to connect with and be reassured by people who work within these systems. Although these may not have worked as quickly or efficiently as hoped, they did ultimately function quite well.

In the bigger-world picture, unfortunately and chillingly the opposite is unfolding. Nonsensical, threatening actions from our federal government are being hurled at us engendering confusion about things that impact our daily lives. For my grandkids – is their education subject to destabilizing shifts? For my kids, are their jobs and income threatened? For me, as an older person, is my essential social security check at risk? Unlike having an insurance agent to call about a car crash, I really don’t know who to contact and how to alleviate the fears I have about my family and me (not to mention people I don’t know who are unnecessarily threatened and made vulnerable.) These situations are all the more worrisome because this crazy-making feels intentional. The modus operandi is to create disorienting chaos so that people have no idea how to react or where to go to for help or protection.

Just a few months ago, governing bodies, like congress (elected officials), had to be consulted before major national decisions were made. Unelected, ego-driven human beings were not in charge of crushing people’s lives (or at least I don’t think this was the case.) This swing happened in what seems like seconds resulting in a baffling, toxic muddle.

I try to engender some hope by reflecting on past political times. In the 1950s, Republican Senator Joseph McCarthy, as Chair of the Senate Government Operations Committee, incited fear by alleging that communists had infiltrated government agencies, universities, and Hollywood. McCarthy was ‘censured’ by the senate in 1954. Many people suffered because of his allegations. Today, the term ‘McCarthyism’ is used to mean demagoguery, false accusations, and personal attacks on someone’s character. (Sound familiar?)

In 1974, President, Richard Nixon, had the good sense to resign after being found complicit in a break-in at the Democratic National Committee headquarters in the Watergate office building. There were several charges pending against him at the time of his resignation, including abuse of power. (Sound familiar?)

 What gives me a little bit of optimism is that In both of these instances, the mechanisms of democracy seemed to hold up. Committees deliberated somewhat sensibly and individuals (in this case Nixon) acted somewhat honorably. So, we know that prudent judgment can happen and order can prevail. Is this enough to allay dread? I don’t know, but it is what I can latch on to and comfort me right now.